How to go all in

As a society, we talk a lot about what it means to go “all in.” Some see it as non-stop hustle; for others, it’s taking a financial or personal risk. Many define it as taking massive action until you get the results you want.

Any of those definitions can work (though I’d encourage you to go easy on the hustle; if your brain doesn’t think it’s going to get a break, it’s going to take one for you—and that usually looks like burnout, vegging out, or both). 

Personally, when I think of going all in on writing, it’s simply being willing to risk feeling disappointed. 

I recently wrote about disappointment and how it can be a tool that you use to your advantage. But too often, I see that writers never even let themselves get to disappointment. Instead:

• They aim low when they want to go high because they want a guaranteed “yes.”

• They take themselves out of the running before anyone has had a chance to reject them ... or choose them.

• They self-sabotage so that the finish line remains in the far-off future. (By the way, self-sabotage often disguises itself as hard work. If you’re on edit #18, for example, you may be self-sabotaging.)

Listen, I get it. I’ve literally done every one of the things I just listed.

But here’s what I’ve learned: successrequiresyou to experience disappointment. You must be willing to put yourself out there and hear “no” again and again in order to get to “yes.”

We spend so much time trying to avoid disappointment … when in reality,it’s just a feeling. And that feeling stems from a thought that can be summed up as “This isn’t what I wanted and I'm disappointed."

The good news is, you can control your thoughts, and in doing so, control your feelings, too. Now, that’s not always possible right away—so if you feel disappointed, acknowledge it. Let yourself feel it. But once you've done that, start working on focusing on better thoughts.

One of my favorites?

This disappointment is proof that I’m going all in on my goal.