How to tell a better story

The next time you feel miserable—whether about your writing career or something else—try asking yourself two questions: 

1. What are the facts about this situation? (When in doubt, think about what could absolutely be proven in a court of law.)

2. What am I making those facts mean? 

We know we’re telling stories when we're writing. (That’s even true for non-fiction; whether prescriptive or narrative, the best books use story to illustrate a point.) But we often fail to recognize that most of our thoughts are interpretations—not facts. For example: 

Publishing is so hard to break into. 
It’s easier for other writers than it is for me. 
I write too slowly.
It’s going to take a long time for me to reach my goals. 
I have to do things I don’t want to, like use social media, to succeed. 

I know these all sound true … but they’re just stories. 

That’s important, because when you tell stories that make you feel miserable, defeated, discouraged, anxious, etc., you show up differently for your career. (This isn't woo; it's basic cognitive behavioral science; you can read more about that here and here.)

To be clear, you don’t have to tell a tall tale that you don’t believe at all. In fact, I encourage you not to—because your brain is unlikely to accept it. But you can and should begin to shift your thoughts so that you’re telling a story that makes you feel—well, better than miserable.

For example, instead of Publishing is so hard to break into, you could think, I am learning how to break into publishing. Chances are, the latter thought is going to trigger more positive emotions than the former. And that's going to make it so much easier to stay motivated and follow through. 

I've said it before, but it's worth repeating: You’re a storyteller. Make sure you like the story you’re telling—especially the one you tell about yourself.