How to filter feedback

“If I accept the positive feedback, I have to accept the negative, too.”

I’ve heard several writers say something along these lines lately. To which I say…

Nope.

In fact, I think you should ignore most negative feedback.

And here’s why: the majority of it will be from people who just aren’t your readers. They probably won’t borrow or buy another one of your books, and they definitely won’t become fans. For whatever reason, they didn’t connect with your work. That’s fine! It’s like meeting someone at a party and thinking, Yeah, no—not for me.

Whether your critics are pointing out little issues that “didn’t work” for them or are declaring you’re the worst writer in the world, you don’t want their feedback to influence how you craft future books—because they’re not your ideal audience. And your ideal audience is who you should be writing for (after yourself, that is; always write the book you’d want to read).

So you get to dislike, disagree with, and disregard that feedback. I even encourage you to avoid it, because it’s just going to make you feel lousy. And when you feel lousy, guess what will be hard to do?

Write.

Which is, of course, your first and most important task.

That’s why I steer clear of Goodreads and block people who tag me in unkind reviews on social media. And if someone tries to tell me, unsolicited, why they didn’t like or “get” one of my novels, I remind them that the book is already a done deal, then change the subject. It just doesn’t serve me, or you, to seek out or allow negativity.

I’m not saying all negative feedback is useless. That’s actually what you want when you’re working with an editor (though even then, you do get to decide which suggestions to use, and which to ignore; when in doubt, go with your gut). And as you continue to write books, you’ll have certain readers who become true fans, whose input—positive and negative—you may want to use. For example, I have an early reader team of about 50 dedicated, longtime readers. I truly consider what they say in their emails and reviews—because they’re who I’m writing for.

So the next time you come across negative feedback, ask yourself: "Is this person my ideal reader?"

And if the answer is no, you know what to do.